July 2011
1 post
June 2011
1 post
April 2011
2 posts
March 2011
6 posts
Neighborly Concerns
So last night Jenn and I decided our downstairs neighbor was dead. This is based on some pretty shaky evidence, primarily that his car has been parked out front for a week with a ticket on it, his lights have been off all week, and he hasn’t been out smoking at all. So either a) he’s on vacation, is a moron, and forgot to move his car or b) he’s dead. He’s totally dead...
I Do This To Myself
Guys, I have a problem.
I have a Facebook friend who posts really annoying shit, but I don’t want to unfriend said person because I kind of enjoy how awful their posts are. But I can’t stop complaining about the posts. See? I have a problem. Let me see if I can explain the general nature of their posts while remaining as vague as possible… essentially, they are one-liners. Bad...
Dear All 5 of You...
Somehow, I’ve made my way back to this thing. I don’t know how long this stay of mine will last, or if I’ll even bother to post tomorrow. But I do know that I’ve discovered that tumblr now offers themes for your blog… for $49. Unless I read that wrong. But if it’s true, that’s really stupid. Stupid enough for me to complain about. Stupid enough for me to...
Enchanted Cabinet →
You: “Look honey! Daddy bought you an enchanted cabinet!”
Daughter: “What the fuck is this? There’s nothing inside!”
This is My Second Stupidest Post.
When I first got here (NY) I wanted to go back to LA. Now, I’d rather stay here than go back. But I know that when I get back, I’ll eventually settle back in and be happy to be in LA. None of this makes sense to me… also, way to deep for a Saturday night.
In other news, I still think I can finish my script by the time I start working again on 4/5. Or at least, get really,...
The Habits of a Suburban Canine
Every so often, Duncan will offer me his front paws so he can stand flat on his hind legs like a human. Typically, this will happen during the evening, most commonly on Sundays. He doesn’t do anything… just stands there, blinks, and looks around. I hope to catch this phenomenon on film (or hard drive) soon.
Cardinal Sin
I didn’t bring one single tie with me on this trip home, and I needed one desperately this weekend. I even brought a sweater vest with me, but no tie. I will never forgive myself.
Hooray for health care!! ...Right?
I do need to rant about this quickly because it’s been bothering me. It drives me nuts that everyone’s instantly like, “Hooray for health care!” Me, personally, I’m still learning about the bill and what it means for us, the pros, the cons, etc, so I’m in no position to cheer/jeer. And I’m willing to bet that the majority of people I see on Facebook raving...
My Script Can Suck It
Oh, yes it can. I’ve been working on this piece (of shit) for over a year now. I mean, when it comes down to it, I do really like it, and I think it’ll be fine once I get it done. But it’s like I sit down to write it and suddenly all of the bright ideas I had just fall out of my head. I’ve been writing it out of sequence, which I think helps because I get more done. So I...
July 2009
1 post
Don't Fly With Me.
Having just returned from NY a few hours ago, I can tell you one thing for sure… airplane travel brings out the worst in me. For some reason, I got really enraged when people applauded after we landed at LAX. It’s not like we were circling Baghdad and managed to avoid missiles while landing! The pilot even said so himself that there was 100% visibility. He even said infinite or some...
June 2009
1 post
Haven’t posted in a while. Interesting.
April 2009
1 post
And So It Begins.
“It” being the moving process. “It” also being the loss of my sanity. Pick one. You can’t have both.
My bed is in several pieces up against my wall. I’m actually surprised how easy the process was of taking it apart, considering Ikea prides itself on being impossible to assemble/disassemble. What I once considered to be a creative way to add space to the room...
March 2009
12 posts
“Tune into the Bad Girls Club reunion tonight at 10 on Oxygen. I’m in it.”
Blast!
I hate hearing about other people’s dreams, so you’re invited to ignore this post. To warn you, though, this dream is a bit star-studded.
My phone rang right when George Clooney was giving me advice on screenwriting in my dream, so it woke me up! But it was at an after party for Duplicity and I was supposed to bring the snacks. I came in late with a picnic basket of M&Ms. Anyway,...
Nerd Alert!
Currently Reading: The Beautiful & Damned
Reading Next: A Bear Called Paddington
Making the most of unemployment.
In the news...
Yahoo! headline…
Obama sidetracked by bonus brouhaha, but presses on
Why is the word ‘brouhaha’ in a headline? It’s hardly journalism-y.
The Update List
This edition of the update list is brought to you by CVS. CVS: We pride ourselves in giving you really long receipts.
Hey gang,
-I know I promised a picture of the cereal box race car after I put stickers on it. It’s finished, but I’m too lazy to open up the camera program and watch my computer freeze for five minutes while I yell curses.
-If I can be thoroughly convinced,...
Irish Dinner Preparations
Jenn: OK, I’m off in search of corned beef and ice cream.
If You Hate AIG... →
…Or even if you don’t, this is a hilarious internal memo leaked to Gawker about what employees can do to protect themselves from this unwanted ‘attention’. It’s too funny to be sad.
Health Bar Review: Special K Protein Bar
Well, if I wanted to get technical on your asses, I would use the full name of this bar which according to the box is: Special K Protein Feel Fuller Longer Bar (Chocolate Peanut Butter). Anyway, this delicious find comes packed with 10 g’s of protein! Delicious! Apparently, that’s only 18% of our daily value. Uh, I’d like a bar with 100% of my daily protein value, please. It...
The Pepper Subset
For all of you concerned parties, I made it back from NY in one piece. I have yet to recover from jet lag (or ‘jet leg’ as I embarrassingly spelled it on facebook), and it was because of this that I decided to grocery shopping at 7:30 am Sunday morning.
An interesting subset of Burbank citizens go grocery shopping then. The sociological name for this subset is, I believe, ‘old...
The Joys of Hiking with Jenn
heading up the trail…
after I finish rambling about something:
Jenn: OK. No more talking.
(silence)
Rit: Jenn, it’s so quiet. I feel like we’re marching towards our death.
Jenn: We probably are.
February 2009
11 posts
What to Do...
So, it’s 10:00 and I have to be up by 4:30. I really have zero desire to sleep right now… absolutely none whatsoever. Should I go to sleep and then wake up feeling awful and cranky? Or should I wait it out and be a zombie all day tomorrow? These are questions better posed to an actual person than dead air…
Let's Discuss...
…why for a 6:50 am flight, I have to be picked up at 5:20 am by a shuttle that has to drive me 10 minutes to an airport that has two terminals. I’m going to be extra bitter tomorrow.
In the News..
Schwarzenegger declares Calif. drought emergency
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/california_drought
This is an infuriating/hilarious headline. For those of you fine folks that don’t live here, they water EVERYTHING in this effing city. Sidewalks, cars, the sides of buildings, and very occasionally, plant life. I’m pretty sure my car will be ok without you spraying water on it every...
Friendship
Christine on my airport/ride situation:
“I’d offer to take you, but i really dont want to.”
Guys....
I’m embarrassed by Bobby Jindal. Did anyone watch him speak last night after Obama? He’s such a hick, which is bizarre because he’s Indian. It’s such a horrible combination. What’s worse, though, is that wikipedia informs me that his third child is named SLADE RYAN. That’s not even remotely Indian!!! I’m offended.
In other news, I leave for NY on...
Mechanics Can Suck It.
Remember back during the holidays I said Christmas can suck it? Add mechanics to that list. Well, not all mechanics, just the one I dealt with this morning.
Me: After I got the tires replaced, I started hearing the squeaking the next day.
Mechanic: Really? Are you sure you just never noticed it before?
…Are you kidding?!
One of Those Things...
So, years ago in high school, during a summer, I went to governor’s school for film which is basically a summer camp/pre-college experience type thing. There, I met this guy Joe and we became good friends, but after that summer we unfortunately lost touch.
Well, I just got a call from my best friend Coley from home who is currently at a party in NYC…
And she’s hanging out with...
A Social(ly Awkward) Experiment
First, read this.
http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1877187,00.html
Fine, don’t. See if I care. Well, to summarize, it’s about 25 things lists that are circulating on facebook. I did one. They were fun. Well, this girl in the article bitches about it, but then shows a list of 25 things she wished she hadn’t learned from her friends. One was that a person often tapes...
January 2009
14 posts
The Worst Thing About Bagel Friday...
…is watching people walk by my desk just eating the bagel as is. No cream cheese, no nothing. How dry! My bagel is done toasting. Goodbye.
Roundabout
A young man calls an Indian grocery store.
Me: “Hi, do you carry Hindi music on cassettes?”
Her: “Yes, what are you looking for?”
Me: “Dilli 6.”
Her: “What?”
Me: “Dilli 6.”
Her: (shocked) “Dilli 6 is not released yet!”
Me: “Oh really? But I think it is. I don’t mean the DVD… I mean the music.”
...
Facing Increased Costs, Girl Scouts Downsize...
Is this funny? Or is it sad? Can it be both? I really want a Samoa now.
You really don’t have to read the article… the headline sort of says it all. But, should you care…
http://www.yumsugar.com/2727272
“I almost had sex in a phone booth, if that makes you feel any better.”
– anonymous
That's Not Right.
It’s time for another edition of…
THAT’S!!! NOT!!! RIIIIIGHT!!!
Alright, fine, so it’s the first.
I got this wonderful green lollipop with lunch, and as I was coming down the steps of the parking garage, I accidentally dropped it and it shattered. I made a noise because I was upset, and the woman behind me goes, “It’s OK, five second rule.”
It’s...
I Desire...
The Mad Men CD with songs from the show.
The Mad Men Original Score CD.
I see them sitting there on itunes. I may just have to go for them.